Any woman living in a relationship with an abusive partner is one woman too many, according to Carrie D., a survivor of domestic violence.
Carrie knows all too well how the anger, controlling behavior, and frequent substance abuse can escalate into real danger for a woman caught in a violent relationship. She left an abusive marriage 17 years ago, and now, as an outreach volunteer with Magee’s Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) program, she teaches women and health care professionals how to spot the red flags in a relationship, and how to get help to escape it.
AT RIGHT: Ebony Hughes and Magee-Womens Hospital stand strong as a collective fortress in the ongoing battle against intimate partner violence.
The mother of two recalls that it was persistence and prayer that opened the door to a new life for her and her kids. “I just decided enough was enough,” says Carrie, who endured both physical and psychological abuse from her husband. “My self-esteem was down around my ankles, but I was tired of being pushed and slapped, of seeing my toddler curled in the corner crying while my ex-husband shouted at me. I’m grateful that I found the strength to leave, and I’m very fortunate to have survived. Many women don’t. I know there are women out there like me, unaware that there is help for them to get out and start over. If what I do with IPV can help one more woman be safe, it’s certainly worth it.”
A shocking one in four women in this country lives like Carrie did, in a fearful world of domestic abuse. Worse, one in three teenage girls experiences partner violence before graduating from high school. “IPV is a major public health issue,” explains Ebony Hughes, who coordinates Magee’s Domestic Violence Task Force.
Most months, she says, there’s a waiting list for the “Healing Spaces” community program on abuse, a project of Women Against Abusive Relationships, founded by Roxanne Epperson, abuse survivor and Magee outreach worker.
Carrie got involved with Magee’s IPV program when she worked at the hospital. She noticed a flier for a program, then was moved by a powerful display in Magee’s lobby during Domestic Violence Awareness Month. The “Silent Witness” display included silhouettes and stories of abuse victims. She tells her story in training programs for Magee staff and at community education programs in Pittsburgh neighborhoods. Carrie knew her experience might help others. It helped with her own healing, as well.
Carrie takes pride in all she’s accomplished — her almost-grown children are happy and well-adjusted. She has a good job, earned a college degree, purchased a home, and put the wounds of her own abuse far enough behind her to help others.
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